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Since being diagnosed with cancer - I've been in
a race to beat it before it kills me. I've read many books, prayed many
prayers, and sustained a belief I can get through this.
If you've been thinking about Jen and I, praying
for us and supporting us - you might have wondered "How does Joel
feel about his chances?" I felt it might help to publish a written
answer to that question. Its quite personal...but it expresses my heart.
Writing this also helps me affirm my personal desire to make it, and live out a normal, happy, healthy life
when this portion of my life's journey is through.
I call this written version my Personal
Statement of Intent.
- "I understand there exists a medical
diagnosis of cancer in my body. I will not ignore the medical seriousness of
my situation, expecting it to simply disappear. I understand from a medical viewpoint I have a fatal
disease. But I also realize it is a diagnosis, not a death
sentence. The final outcome of life vs. death depends largely on God's will
for my life, but just as much on my desire to fulfill that will.
- I will regain a healthy life not through a
fight based on fear, uncertainty and doubt, but rather knowing I can,
believing in myself, believing in the treatment path I've chosen, and doing
something about it. I also believe others love and support for me is real, meaningful and
effective.
- As a runner much of my life - I visualized how
I'd run every step of every race, where the pain would start, where I'd get
over it, where I'd start the kick to the finish, and how long those last
moments of adrenaline would carry me. Running well was a God-given
talent - but it was my personal will and determination that converted that
ability into a win.
- The same personal will and determination
applies to my current race against cancer. I believe God has already
given me all the tools necessary to win - and carrying that out is up to
me. I am fully aware this is an uphill run with no end in sight.
But I will not give up... no matter the cost.
- I have choices. I can choose to believe the
dismal statistics, succumb to the inevitable, give up and die - or I
can choose to fight, win and live. I choose to live. I choose to
believe in the end there is healing for me...not death. I choose to participate in my treatment and recovery in an active
not a passive manner - using every spiritual, medical, nutritional, physical and mental
tool at my disposal. I choose to visualize beating cancer and not let it
beat me. I choose to not let statistical odds stacked against me foreordain my
death. And
I choose to live a life worth living that will make this short term fight
against cancer worth any pain or struggle.
- I take on this fight, not with benign deception or
denial, but with faith in God, reliance on Christ's
healing power, and trust in my own determination to beat it."
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